I’m Excited for Her… So Why Am I So Sad?

Reader, do you ever feel like your heart is breaking a little bit?

This may be our last summer in this house.
This may be our last summer as a family of seven, with Atalie leaving for college. This feels like the summer of lasts—the last first day of school, the last summer before everything changes, the last season of a chapter we've known for so long.
And if I'm being honest, I'm trying so hard to live in the moment while also grieving the moment at the same time.
Does that make sense?
I'm soaking it all in—the dinners, the laughter, the ordinary days, everyone under one roof—while quietly knowing that this exact version of our family won't exist forever.
I'm excited. 100% excited. I'm excited to watch Atalie grow, to see what God has for her, and to step into this next chapter as a growing big family. But am I sad? Extremely. Am I grieving something that hasn't even happened yet? Absolutely.
Maybe that's what motherhood is sometimes: holding joy and grief in the same hand.
I posted an Instagram story last week and quickly realized how many of you are walking through the same thing—saying goodbye to a high school graduate and sending a newly minted college freshman into the world.
So tell me… how are you doing?
Are you groaning a little too? Grappling with the reality of change and the loss that comes with a new beginning?
If you are, I'm meeting you right there.
Right in the bittersweet. Right in the unknown. Right in the space between I'm so excited for you and please don't grow up so fast.
And maybe this is where I remind myself that even when everything around us changes, God doesn't.

“Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.”
Psalm 139:7–8

He'll be there when she leaves.
He'll be here when we miss her.
And He'll be in every new chapter we haven't learned to love yet.

So for now, I'm going to keep living in the moment, even if I have to groan a little while I'm living in it.
Meeting you there,
Shalice 🤍

Can you relate? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.